We grow up in a society that pushes for excellence. A society where money and success are the measure of judgment of people. During the 801st inauguration of the academic year of the University of Padua the President of the Council of Students, Emma Ruzzon, said: “We are taught that stopping means disappointing social and often familiar expectations. To stop means to stay behind. All we know is that a beautiful life, a dignified life does not belong to us by right, but it is something we must deserve.”
I felt these pressures many times and even now I probably still feel them. I went through the fear of failure, the fear of being up to the mark, the fear of the unknown and the unexpected. And all of this drove me to be extremely strict with myself. Planning all the steps for my future was something that soothed my anxiety but at the same time it increased the pressure of performing in an excellent way.
In these months, I’ve started to question if this performative means of looking at our life was something that satisfied me. I’ve begun to ask myself whether I was taking full advantage of the benefits of the experiences I was having or whether, instead, they were something aimed at achieving the goals I had chosen for my future.
So, I stopped, and I’ve started to rethink the scale of my priorities.
I’ve rediscovered the passions I had shelved for a long time. The passions that over time built a sense of inadequacy in me, became tools for expressing myself freely, without judgments.
I’m so happy about the self-awareness I’m achieving during this beautiful journey; it’s giving me the possibility to learn from my mistakes, to try, to discover and to fail.
And I believe that there is nothing more beautiful than looking at ourselves with loving eyes: the love that is indispensable to remind ourselves of our own value.
